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06.09.08, 11:09 AM General Topics
25 replies
MIL is pissing me off. She wants me to leave my kids with a neighbor of hers for BIL's rehearsal dinner because "they would be a disruption." But insists they MUST be there for the wedding itself, which will be an 12-hour ordeal for me while DH performs his best man duties. Either we fly them out and they are included in the various activities, or spare me the cost and hassle and let me leave them home! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.09.08, 11:09 AM Flag
 

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Ask your BIL what he prefers. Cut out the middle man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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He is really laid back, which means that his future ILs and my MIL are just steamrolling him. It wouldn't really matter what he thinks of it, I'll be getting the phone calls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I would still ask, that way you can say "joe said it's okay and he's the groom, end of story" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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What does yur brother in law want? Seems like it should be his decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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He originally invited us for both. But now it's a whole crisis, and he's choosing (wisely I think, given what he's generally up against) to keep out of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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Does your husband stand up for you? Make him work it out with his mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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DH is threatening to just leave them with my parents. But it's hard to pull the trigger on what you know will be WWIII with ILs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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Why do they want them at the wedding and reception? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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Do somethign wild and crazy in the ceremony! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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It's tempting. To OR above (can't reply to you) - To show off her grandchildren of course! And don't forget the all-important photos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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How about having DH drop his pants during the ceremony and where brightly colored boxers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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Tell her that they will be even more of a disruption during the ceremony/reception and that you are either bringing them to all events or leaving them at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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Can you bring your own child care with you? Get a fun hotel (near a park or pool) and focus your energy on having a family vacation that is interrupted for a short wedding (go back to hotel in between wedding and reception). OR don't take the kids at all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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You could then tell your MIL that you will bring your dcs another time when she can actually spend time with them:) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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It is not a place that we would want to vacation. And I frankly cannot afford to pay for 4 days of our babysitter (there is also a brunch on Sunday) in addition to the flights, presents and DH is hosting bachelor party (a different weekend, so he's flying out TWICE). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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weddings make people crazy, so you need to cut them some slack. face it, once you have kids, family weddings are not going to be fun for you anymore. it'll get better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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I've been cutting them slack. But I'm not leaving my kids with a 75yo woman I don't know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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then skip the rehersal dinner and let dh go on his own. s'okay, someday we'll all be mil's and will have full range to be batsh*t crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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LOL, too true. But MIL didn't do a freaking thing for our wedding, so DH is doubly pissed off. I fear he will not let this slide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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sometimes you just have to give things to your inlaws as a gift. you dont come out and say 'MERRY christmas, you old bat, i'm going to do everything you want for this crazy wedding", but if you just suck it up and do it, be as sweet and nice as you can, they will appreciate it on some level. and hey, if not, you can hold it against them. Ammunition! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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But I already gave a gift - she bought the kids their clothes and they are going to be dressed as pageboys even though they aren't in the wedding (and DS is 7!). You know, with the short pantaloons and rounded collars? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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not an actual present-- a gift of your time and attention. a gift of the heart, to get all hallmark on you. and yay! eton suits! give them zombie makeovers on halloween and they can be little zombie lord fauntlroy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Yes, I meant the present of me allowing her to dress my kids against their will in ridiculous clothes. But love the idea of zombies for Halloween - thanks. (BTW, don't eton suits have jackets? These are just short-sleeved tops that button down onto the pants (with long socks and white shoes). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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make the decision for yourself. It's you that is going to have to do the work (watching them, etc. ) How old? If less than 6, I wouldn't bring them at all. Just had my bro's wedding, and the best decision I ever made was to not bring my 2 and 4 year old. We did bring them to the rehearsal, but that was 2 hours, and close to my house. I wouldn't have brought them at all if it had been us flying somewhere; or if i had to, I would have gotten babysitters there for all events. Don't bring them! Make it that you don't want them to disrupt the wedding, want it to be wonderful for MIL and BIL, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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If it were my brother, I absolutely would leave them home. But I'm sure you can understand that doing this with difficult ILs would be harmful to our relationship for a long time. Even though DH would be making the decision, they will blame me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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