UrbanBaby

06.09.08, 10:51 AM General Topics
14 replies

have a weird and frustrating problem. everyone thinks that dh is great, funny, friendly. I, on the other hand, am a little shy, which can come off as being aloof. the thing is, dh is totally different in private. he's often depressed and angry. but he saves all his good behavior for others. he can be in the foulest mood, but if the phone rings and it's a colleague or friend, he's Mr. Personality. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.09.08, 10:51 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

I have similar, but different issues with my DH. He is generally shy and coy-ish but also joking and nice to everyone. At home, he is negative and grumbling. He blames his current negative attitude on his ear infection but he will always find an excuse to be angry. Does your DH have any psyc issues? My DH is finally going to a shrink for the 1st time in around 15 years. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 10:56 AM Flag

he saw a shrink some time ago and that really helped with the depression issues, but there's a lot of anger still there [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:03 AM Flag

this is very natural. i have the same prob. i think it's just what can happen in family life. suck it up. love him. enjoy what you can. good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 10:57 AM Flag

^^^trying to reply but UB won't let me! That's basically what dh says. That he should be able to relax and not be "on" at home. I think we should be our best for our loved ones. It doesn't help that my father was exactly the same way [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:02 AM Flag

I have similar issues. He's not a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but people who don't live with him say "What a great guy"-- he can be dick just like eveyrone else-- sometimes more so. I think it might be more about accepting him for who he is. Plus we have two small kids so I don't have the energy to resent, which helps. GL. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:02 AM Flag

but I feel like I don't have a soft spot to fall, if you know what I mean [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:04 AM Flag

tough. living with people is stressful, esp with the pressures of raising little ones. if it really seems like he is not the man you thought he was you may have problem. but the longer I'm married the more I realize there are cycles where couples grow apart (and hopefully come back together) and we sort of have to accept that if we want to make it last. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:08 AM Flag

^^^can't respond directly to your post. grrr. we don't have "little ones." and we've been married 20 years...I just feel he's getting worse as he gets older [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag

I am more like DH. Would never be moody to other people - always put my game face on. But will let it all go at home. Part of it is how I was raised...never be rude, moody, etc. Still maintain that outside the home but allow myself to experience my moods more when I am home. Still no excuse and working on it but it is what it is... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:10 AM Flag

do you resent dh for wanting to show your "game face" at home? or is it not an issue? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag

That was my Dad to a tee, owned his own company and always had to be “on” which created a lot of after hours stress. Hated the fact that everyone thought Dad was such a great guy because he wasn’t at home. The day he retired he became a different person so glad I got to know that person [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:24 AM Flag

how wonderful for you (and I mean that, not snark). my father was a physician and adored by his patients, but an absolute tyrant at home. I know he loved me but he could be a very mean man. he killed himself right before he retired. I think he couldn't bear the idea of not being the "doctor." OP btw [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:29 AM Flag

are you married to my DH? Seriously, I totally know where you are coming from and it sucks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:27 AM Flag

right? I always feel like we should lift each other up, not be each other's litter box...sorry for the mixed metaphor [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.09.08, 11:30 AM Flag