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06.08.08, 17:30 PM General Topics
19 replies
My DD gets frustrated and hits me, DH, MIL sometimes. We do 1,2,3 magic and it does help but sometimes I find myself getting angry myself after being hit for the Nth time, almost automatically striking back when she gets angry and lashes out. She has been hitting a lot in the past week. I have no idea why. She is 3.6 [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 05:30 PM Flag
 

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is there anything going on at home? moves? new sibs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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no moves, no new siblings, no real stresses and things are better then ever before with DH & I [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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i would work on teaching her what to do when she is angry. teach her how it is ok to feel that way but not ok to react that way. we would always tell our kids to use your words, use your words [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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np: we used to do this with DS and I'm laughing because one time he was mad and went to hit me. I stopped him, told him to use his words. He stopped, thought about it, and then said "I'm mad at you mommy and I'm going to punch you in the face." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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lol sounds like my son [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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OP: Ok but what do I teach her? To say she is angry? Punch a pillow? Not sure at all and could use some direction. I'll read a book if I have to! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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there are books that label emotions that are geared towards toddlers. if dd is in preschool, talk to teachers about this or just look through bn or amazon about books. also, learn to control your own anger-keep it in check and model for her: sally, I feel angry too, but we both need to calm down to resolve situation. you can defuse situation and model for her good behavior. but teaching dd to label and begin to understand different emotions (like feeling happy, sad, angry, etc) is good start [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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I know most would disagree. But if you slapped her back real hard once or twice she'd cut it out. F the super nanny crap - smack her once really hard and tell her to stop - she'll straighten up fast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I am not going to go there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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My DD did the hitting thing when she was 2.5. After being embarrassed in public a couple of times - my method worked. I don't hit my dd anymore (now 5) time outs work just fine. She really was just going through a bad spurt. I listened to my sister who believes in corporal punishment on this one and it worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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There has to be a better way. You can not hit a small child 'real hard' and expect that there will be no emotional consequences. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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OR - Perhaps. But I can't believe allowing a child to hit her parents and other authority figures without consequences is good. 3.6 is old enough to know and understand that this behaviour is inappropriate. FWIW - I did not only hit my dd - I also told her that her behaviour was unacceptable even if she is tired, frustrated etc. When I only "talked" though and there were no other consequences she didn't listen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 09:34 PM Flag
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idiot. what works in our home is just take away her current most favorite toy for a week. no warnings, no 1-2-3 when it comes to hitting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:00 PM Flag
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You are the idiot. Not the same method works with all children. I have an older dc and taking away his current favorite toy would work. My dd is not that attached is anything so she could care less when you take something away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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this has to be a joke. TERRIBLE advice. probably no sense in arguing with or, but op: please don't abuse your child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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LOL. So the way to teach a child not to hit is to hit her? Whoo boy. That's a good one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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Books:_Raising Your Spirited Child_ by Mary Kurcinka and _The Explosive Child_ by Ross Greene. Look for triggers and try to redirect before it gets to the hitting stage (is she getting frustrated, tired, hungry for protein, over/under stimulated, could it be a reaction to something she's eating, etc.). Talk (if she's a verbal type) outside of the moment, get her input on strategies, what her experience of these incidences is. Yes, try hitting pillows or other gross motor activities. Go to a quiet, neutral place with her to cool off and just "be" with her (don't do a lot of talking or demanding explanations from her in the moment). Validate. I know someone who has dealt with an explosive child, it has been really hard for her at times, but rewarding too, her son really sees her as his partner in learning to deal with his own intensity. Good luck... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 10:18 PM Flag
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...rewarding too, her son really sees her as his partner in dealing with his intense emotions and its gotten a lot better over the years. Good luck... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 10:21 PM Flag
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