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06.08.08, 13:17 PM General Topics
8 replies
My 5 yo ds is a god-awful brat. At the grocery store today he was being typically bad - running and making stupid noises (he is mildly autistic, but he makes the noises because he knows they are annoying, not because of his condition). I did my usual useless attempts to reason with him, threaten him, etc. So, I was just trying to get what I needed and get out asap. My ds blocked the aisle so this 60ish woman couldn't get by. She said, "Move!" I turned and grabbed him and apologized the way I usually do and she gave me a terribly dirty look. I'm not used to that, people are usually not so mean about his behavior, especially when they see how apologetic I am, and how frazzled I look. So, I said, "You know, he is only 5." She replied, "I've raised 3 kids who didn't act like that." I then told her that he was autistic, and she ignored me. I repeated it twice, and my blood was about to boil over because she wouldn't even look at me. Then I told her she was being incredibly rude, and she said simply, " I wasn't rude to him." I'm really upset about this encounter. I know I can't control my ds. Nothing works. It makes me crazy to have people look at me like I suck, though. I'm not one of those people who defends my bratty kid's behavior, and says that he is just 'spirited', or some crap. Why can't people be a little understanding?? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 01:17 PM Flag
 

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you say that you did your usual useless tactics...why? try someting different. what you can do is pick him up, and say in a calm manner, 'i am sorry you did not want to come shopping with me today" and say nothing else. go to the car, return home and do not bring it up again. do that 5 times and you won't have a problem in public again. suggested reading, "children, the challenge" by rudolf dreikurs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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that's lovely in theory. in reality, I didn't have time to put all the stuff in my cart back, return home, then go back to the store later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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^^^I'll look up the book though. I certainly do need some help. thx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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you are welcome. you can find the book on abe books for a bout a buck. and you can do this. go for practice runs. if he is going to do this frequently, then you have lots of opportunity. next tijme you go, go when you don't really need anything. pick out a few things. he will misbehave and you can do it. or, you can leave the food with the manager and go back later. you need to do this or you will have problems each time you go. the book is great, by the way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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perhaps he is fulfilling your prophecy that he is a god-awful brat. you certainly expect him to be that way each time. he is just holding up his end of the bargain. you need to change the way you interact with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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I honestly don't know what else to do. I think he may be ADD, or something, in addition to being autistic. He gets into this 'zone' when it is impossible to get through to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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he needs no more labels. act more and speak less. and maybe curtail your label of autism. you need not get through to hiim wiht words. he knows what is appropriate behavior and what is not. he is just trying to get ot you, as you even say in your post. 'he knows they are annoying'. don't allow it to be. keepit all inside. you are giving hiim an audience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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ITA. is he receiving any therapy/treatmeant? maybe they can help you change the dynamic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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