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06.06.08, 09:06 AM General Topics
4 replies
DH and I were just married, but we've been together for a number of years. We're in our late 20's, and both want to have kids young, as we both grew up with older parents. Adjusting to being married hasn't been a big deal at all, however, DH has been incredibly busy with work since we were married. He is now starting to put the pressure on about having a baby... he is having serious "baby lust" and keeps asking me when we can start. I do want to have a baby soon, but not *too* soon. I think I might be ready to start trying 9mos-1year from now, but I think he really wants to start now. Anyone BTDT? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.06.08, 09:06 AM Flag
 

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yes, but it was me who had serious baby lust. serious! truth was that we just weren't ready for one just then. i knew that it wasn't a good time (i was depressed, dad had just passed away, issues in relationship) and worked those issues out in therapy. now all is good and we are going to try as soon as we get married (in one year). i don't know how this translates to your situation. for the luster, it's hard just waiting to get over the baby lust but the intensity of it should make him consider whether this is a substitute for something else or if it's genuinely something he wants right now. what's up with the work situation? how long is it going to last? would he need to work less once the baby is here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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Thanks for your response. I want a baby too, but just not yet. He is a corporate lawyer, so no, his work situation will always be bad. However, I hope that having a baby would make him realize he needs to be home more. He's (we're) also dealiing with his dad who is very ill, and part of me thinks that he wants a baby to help deal with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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np: this does not seem like ideal timing to have a baby, although I understand that part of his motivation might be that he wants his dad to see his grandchild. I know that I will always regret that my mom never met my ds. On the other hand, I don't think I was ready to be a parent when she died.... The work commitment issue is another one as well, but I don't think that will change much over time unless he works for a very humane law firm.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 09:55 AM Flag
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don't go ahead and start tryign until you guys have tlaked about the work issue. if you are expecting him to change things, you have to tell him and find out if he agrees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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