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06.03.08, 08:48 AM New York City
30 replies
what is the approprite amount of money to give as a wedding gift these days? My husband and I are going to a formal wedding in Manhattan. I gave a generous shower gift. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.03.08, 08:48 AM Flag
 

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$300 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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I think its always 150 per person [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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Man, these are some $$$ gifts. It was always $50 per person up until recently. Although, I guess you're talking a Manhattan wedding...but I'd still do what you can afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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What? $50/person? I got married in upstate NY 3 years ago and paid $100/head for a not very swanky reception. You are cheap! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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You can only give as much as you can afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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it's not quid pro quo. your guests don't have a say in what you spend on your own wedding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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wtf? Why would I want to care how much YOU decided to spend on your wedding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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ita. bizarre mind-set [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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I got married 5 years ago and got much more generous gifts than that... have always given more generous gifts as well. But I don't do the cash thing, I find it tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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do whatever you feel comfortable with, but in some cultures, cash is the custom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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It's tacky, as is the expectation that the guest "covers" the cost of his or her plate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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that's elitist. no one in dh's extended family would think of giving anyone anything but cash. Old-school Polish catholic. I agree about "covering" the cost of the plate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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^^^the expectation of "covering" in other words I agree with you on that point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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$300. If you aren't super close with them I think you can get away with 250, but anything less will peg you as a cheapo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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dude! will this label cheapo follow me around forever and ever? Will the married couple shun me for life? Will they not invite me ever to any of their events? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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like a cloud over your head; actually more like a neon flashing light with an arrow pointing at you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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pretty much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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or as underprivileged and, hey, there's no shame in that. ;-) just give what you can afford to give. Theoretically, they invited you to witness the betrothal and share in the joy of the day, not to get another gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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^^^witness their vows...sorry used the wrong word [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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whatever. see below. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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do you want to debate the tackiness and whether it is outrageous to expect a certain amount or do you want to know how much to give so the bride and groom don't think your cheap (becuase regardless of whether it is right or wrong your gift will be compared to the rest-that's life). If so, 250-300 for a couple. 200 for a single. Otherwise you can stand on your soapbox and look like a cheapskate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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in your world maybe. it never occurred to me to analyze whether or not a guest spent the "right" amount of money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:16 AM Flag
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really? so if all your friends (couples) gave about 250-300 and one couple (of roughly the same financial situation) gave you a 100-150, you wouldn't think they were a little cheap. Puhlease! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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is it so hard to believe that not every thinks the way you do? I didn't keep a tally of the value of people's gifts. I mean, assuming you didn't receive all cash, do you go back and look up how much the gift cost someone? now that's tacky [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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^^^actually I now realize I'm wrong. I did keep something of a tally in order to write thank you notes, but as hard as it seems to be for you to believe, I really didn't give value of gift any thought, but I'm not very materialistic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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np, I wouldn't. No question about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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Really, no ... I would think maybe they were less wealthy than I had previously thought. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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no. If you are one of my friends and I find about about this how you judged my gift I will drop you like a hot potato. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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np, Neither did we. Looking back, one of the most meaningful gifts we received--a book of poetry--must have been one of the least expensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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what did you give for the shower? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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