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06.03.08, 06:57 AM Teenagers
45 replies
a day in a life with a teen: dd was stressing this morning about a vocal performance that she has to present before 3 teachers in order to pass to the next level next year. I said, "You shouldn't worry. You have one of the most beautiful voices in your class." Her response: "How could you possibly know that?" This continue back and forth with me trying to shore up her confidence and her tearing apart what I said. Finally, I gave up and was silent. After a moment, she looked at me and said, "You can continue telling me how good I am." I had to smile...and continued [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Teenagers 06.03.08, 06:57 AM Flag
 

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not flaming - your daughter is right to call you on that first compliment. kids can smell insincerity a mile away, and if you don't know the voices of every other kid in her class, you shouldn't say something like "you have one of the MOST beautiful voices in your class." Sorry to be so judgy sounding, but i find that sincere meaningful compliments are the only ones worth giving or receivng. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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OMG. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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ugh, you are annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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no, you and your needy, princessy daughter are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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np, I agree that that was an incredibly annoying response. In OP's mind, her DD DOES have one of the most beautiful voices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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How does OP know if she hasn't heard the other kids? OP sounds like one of those moms who always tells her kids they are the BEST, SMARTEST, PRETTIEST people in the whole wide world, yes they are! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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Um, that's a Mom's job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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it is not a parent's job to give their kid an over inflated ego. you praise them realistically and encourage them constantly; you don't tell them that they are better than everyone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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LOL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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wow. you are really old school, aren't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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i take that as a compliment. my children are aware of their strengths and develop them. they work on their weaknesses, as well. they do not say, "i am so great." to themselves in the mirror 1000 times a day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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You do understand that it is possible to bolster your child's confidence without giving them the huge ego you're so afraid of? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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yes, by giving them honest, sincere meaningul compliments. not you are the BEST every second of the day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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you really are reaching to assume this scenario based on one example that might very well be true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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Who, in this thread, has said anything about telling their kids that they are the BEST every second of the day? Where are you getting this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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I disagree with you. I am very sure your kids one day will look back and tell you that they wished you would have told them at least once or twice how great they were. You don't have to say they are the best all the time but there is definitely a balance you can strike. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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that was not me, signed OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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sorry, then. just so you know, i think you sound like a nice mom and what you said was probably something i would say even though i stand by my opinion that it is probably better to encourage than to offer overly effusive praise [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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yeah. unfortunately, we don't always stop and analyze everything we say before we say it. at least I don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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I know this anecdotally from what she has told me herself other classmates have told her, that's what I was referring to and I explained that to her. Also her voice teacher told me in parent/teacher conference that she could always count on dd to hit the high note when others couldn't. So I think ONE of the most is not hyperbole and certainly not insincere on my part. She was just being argumentative [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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AS is OR. perhaps she is a teenager herself? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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Do people find it difficult to be around you? It would be so hard for me not to wince when I had to spend time with you. I am glad we are not friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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why? because i refuse to raise children who think the sun shines out of their ass? i cannot stand this mentality where you constantly have to artificially bolster your children. maybe you enjoy being sucked up to by two faced sycophants who really think you are mediocre, but i do not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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You are just itching for a fight, aren't you? OP provided backup for her statement. You have no idea whether OP artificially praises everything her DD does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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no i do not know what she tells her kid on a daily basis; i was responding to the scenario she described [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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How very judgmental and shortsighted of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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go away and tell your kid she's "special" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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"you posted this non-sequitor because you know i am right and you have no cogent response". Ahem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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I am quite certain your children think very little of themselves. It must be very difficult to think anything positive in your presence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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i am quite certain your children are unjustiably conceited. it must be very difficult for others to think anything positive in their presence. congratulations for raising the next generation of paris hiltons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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how on earth do you get all this from one statement? forget your meds? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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Nicely put. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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ITA. This isn't really a meaningful compliment unless you've heard all the other kids sing. Tell her something she knows to be true: either that she's worked so hard, or rehearsed so much, or that she sounds so much like X (some singer that she admires). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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LOL - classic scenario. ignore the troll. (i hate it when i post something precious and it gets attacked... don't know why people feel compelled to do this.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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yeah. I was just amused by the back and forth. didn't pick a very good example, I guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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perhaps because we are the people who have to interact with you and your "perfect" children on a daily basis and it is aggravating to have to pretend that mediocrity is greatness. btw, the post was not "precious" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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Get.Over.Yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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you get over yourself. you posted this non-sequitor because you know i am right and you have no cogent response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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I have plenty of cogent responses, but you've proven yourself to be inflexible and judgmental so I see no reason to waste them on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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feh. go tell your dsaughther how "specisl she is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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Thanks, I will. I tell her how wonderful she is all the time. I also encourage her to work hard at what she's not good at, without telling her she's the best at everything, believe it or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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sweet story! I am amazed by the nasty tone of some replies. While it is valid to think about why your daughter might have rejected your compliments at first, it doesn't justify the sharp replies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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It's really just one responder. She sounds a bit batty, honestly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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I know. I don't always say exactly the right thing, but somehow we carry on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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